Monday, November 19, 2007

The Spirit of Giving PART 2

Ok, so my plan was to make little cards and hand them out to homeless people in out neighborhood for this upcoming holiday season. The cards would have 15 or 20 bucks in it. It has gotten so cold over the past months with daily high hovering around the 5-6 degree mark. (Not sure the 'F' degree equivalent) - but cold.

DD thought it was a nice gesture, but wanted to have conversation as to why I thought they would be interested in a "card" from a stranger. I said, I thought it would be nice to give them "something" - which DD thought was interesting. She wondered why I thought they would want a card. Who told me that? She suggested that cards had to do with a certain kind of familiarity, that I don't have - regardless of the fact that I walk past some of these people every day. She wondered why I just didn't give them the money - .. after all, is it about me simply giving to a homeless person - and allowing them to be off... OR do I need to feel special for having given them a card, along with the 20 bucks.

My reaction to her probe was to feel angry. I mean, here I was - thinking about others for a change, and all she can do is rain on my parade. But then I started to think about my reasons for handing out the cards.

I had pictured in my mind, the few people I was going to give these cards out to as being like: oh thank-you... NO Way! you shouldn't have... a CARD- for me??? No?!!!
And if I'm honest with myself, and trust me, I have trouble with that one some times, I know that there is a piece of me that wants to be looked at like: "now that is a powerful and amazing man who really does great things." I want to feel stroked and appreciated.

But, after reflecting more, not like this. The reflection did take a bit of time. I think I'm classist, and think there is a part of me who believes that the homeless people in my neighborhood should be greatful for whatever they get - and SUPERgrateful if a complete stranger goes the extra mile to give them a gift. It's that damn picking order. I hate that!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Spirit of Giving

I was outside on our back deck having a puff (I think cause I have 1 or 2 a day I'm not really addicted - sad, I know.. ) and it was 3 degrees - or 40F, for you Americans, and I was thinking about for the holiday season and the new year, giving some homeless people cards with 10 or 20 dollars inside...
which raised an interesting point when I mentioned it to DD. She said: