Lots more of these posts are coming.
First off, I'm really happy things are happening in my family which are changes. I need to get out of this slush I'm living in ... and 1tbm moves are exactly what we need... Ok, so how do I feel about not being the centre of everything -all the time.. well I feel crappy.. I'm like a spoiled child...
more coming...
Monday, June 09, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
42degrees
That's how hott is feel in the city today.. in fact, it's been that way for a bit now.. and I like it.. makes me forget all about the windchill factor of the winter...
If you've reading over at 1tbm you know that she has kick started (again) after waiting for me to follow thru on my end of our relationship. I really believe in polyamory and have for a long time - but I our relationship has, tome, gone thru som much struggle and more struggle (you can read prior posts to know what I'm talking about) that I foolishly thought, well - I'll close down, stop communicating, close people out, embrace my parents values, monogamy - and be live a nice miserable life... how sweet!
1tbm was like: I can't do this anymore.. I have to do something different... I AM going to do something different.. and goddess glory she did and to amazing results! (I should correct this... it's not that she did something different - it's more like she stopped waiting for me to followthru - she couldn't take the constant BLAhhhhhh that I insisted we live in..
OK so she's met a number of individuals and I am crazy excited about it. I feel like I finally ready to meet new and interesting people. And 1tbm and the way we are starting to do poly again feels great...
Yesterday I took the kids and she went on a date. I prepared a little bunch for her friend - and the two of them were off. I was really excited about this guy (I'm always looking for good men friends who are quality, emotionally present and self critiqing) and I seems to be one of them.
It also helps that 1tbm is very clear about how she interacts with, they need to have, and show a particular energy about themselves before she engages.
Jealously is a big deal for me.. it always has been. I want everyone to be mine, I want 1tbm to be mine, I want everyone to be for me and only me and that's it... But really, I don't have the capacity to be command or even take on that much attention...
This may seem aburpt, but I have to go now...
I have to take advantage of this weather... this is Canada after all... but I'll return soon...
If you've reading over at 1tbm you know that she has kick started (again) after waiting for me to follow thru on my end of our relationship. I really believe in polyamory and have for a long time - but I our relationship has, tome, gone thru som much struggle and more struggle (you can read prior posts to know what I'm talking about) that I foolishly thought, well - I'll close down, stop communicating, close people out, embrace my parents values, monogamy - and be live a nice miserable life... how sweet!
1tbm was like: I can't do this anymore.. I have to do something different... I AM going to do something different.. and goddess glory she did and to amazing results! (I should correct this... it's not that she did something different - it's more like she stopped waiting for me to followthru - she couldn't take the constant BLAhhhhhh that I insisted we live in..
OK so she's met a number of individuals and I am crazy excited about it. I feel like I finally ready to meet new and interesting people. And 1tbm and the way we are starting to do poly again feels great...
Yesterday I took the kids and she went on a date. I prepared a little bunch for her friend - and the two of them were off. I was really excited about this guy (I'm always looking for good men friends who are quality, emotionally present and self critiqing) and I seems to be one of them.
It also helps that 1tbm is very clear about how she interacts with, they need to have, and show a particular energy about themselves before she engages.
Jealously is a big deal for me.. it always has been. I want everyone to be mine, I want 1tbm to be mine, I want everyone to be for me and only me and that's it... But really, I don't have the capacity to be command or even take on that much attention...
This may seem aburpt, but I have to go now...
I have to take advantage of this weather... this is Canada after all... but I'll return soon...
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