Reloaded II... here it is!

Everyone, enjoy the reads.
Thx DD!

incredible juju's i'm back to

feminist allies' chicks dig feminists
seminalson's so daddy will you dance with your son
birth pangs' why stop at alcohol?

darkdaughta's blog for choice kindergarten style

angry pissed off ungrateful little transracially abducted mutherfuckers from hell
what is a men's movement?

NORTH AMERICAN UNION: Security and Prosperity

I really like Coffee House Studio, thank-you for getting me on to this. Watch this feature video, of the NATIONAL, from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.
Pay attention to what SECURITY AND PROSPERITY means.

It's coming.
Watch.


And apparently the "lovely folks of the US" aren't paying attention cause no one seems to know, or care. And the BUSH administration likes it that way! Hell. even the reporter on the story is shocked! From the Cable News Network. Watch.

AND NOW THE CONTINUATION.....EVERYONE CHOOSES HOW THEY ARE GOING TO BE PROGRESSIVE: what choice will I make?

You know, I was on set today thinking about my life. When I work - I spend a lot of time talking to people and talk and talk they do. People on set often think that because they are paid lots of money.. they're smart. They aren't.

I came home this evening and DD told me about they day she had with our Stinkapee. The cloth menstrual pad.. i have to stop here now cause I'm actually exhausted and want to write.. i'll be back around 5:30 to continue.. must sleep...

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So, I wrote that back on Thursday and I haven't choosen to come back to my blog until now. It is early Sunday morning. I was reading the post that DD made about the conversation she had with Stinkapee around menstruation. Okay, first of all, it has taken men quite a bit to actually get to the point of writing this. I had to go into my memory banks, fight my learned "fear of the vagina", visit some websites, fight more fear and angst, do some more deep breathing - truly - quite sad - me - the parent and care-giver of a girl child and boy child, actually being really timid about period blood.

Sad.

But, can't stay there. I have a lot of parenting to do, and I'm not gonna get it done by resting on my ass and complaining... and trust me... I really do love to do that ... ok?

I think part of what has happened to me is around violence and blood and remembering that growing up - those two went hand in hand. And the memories scare me. Add to that, the fact that there was no conversation about the female body WHATSOEVER in my the family home I grew up in - and you have a recipe for .. wait for it: ignorance.

But, Stinkapee is growing up fast, and very shortly, to be blunt - she and the fatty boy are going to looking at me like: you have no credibility. And that just won't do.

Over on darkdaughta's site, Stinkapee was exclaiming about how excited I'll be to see her new cloth menstrual pad. Isn't that beautiful. She's excited about it, and thinks I will be too. The truth: I can be excited. I just need to take my head out of my ass and connect emotionally to the female body in the present and everyday. Lots of us (men) like to claim - I was at my child's birth (ok, maybe not lots - but you get the idea) ; OR, I am really their for my partner when "it's that time of the month" - but really - all we do is grin and bare "it", until "it" passes (so to speak!) . Not good enough.

Until I start actually engaging with the feelings, and the emotions connected to DD period, how I am going to support Stinkapee? First off, writing this really helps - cause I am very bottled up and wound up. I think one thing I am going to propose is that when her cycle begins, we have a "request/RESET" days. During this time DD requests what she'd to see happen in our relationship and in the house - because her body does something very specific during menstrating cycle. She becomes very creative (busy and imaginative writing and art) followed by a crash in energy. One of the things I'd like to commit to is to make a solid effort to being present, and loving and treating myself with love, care and respect because if I do, I won't end up draining her of so much emotional energy. I do love to do this. And this energy needs to be in reserves for Stinkapee and Fatty boy.

Love myself. Make love to myself. Take myself out. Have a bath. Cry.

It's sounds so straight forward, but anyone reading my blog will know, how much I struggle with this.
One of the things I am working out is trying to love myself. What a concept.

---BACK TO THE PAD--- Right on about the cloth pads. The reality is: I am in charge of the laundry in the house, and it has yielded some positive, and NEGATIVE results. More on that later, but what I am saying is that, after some initial research I found ways to wash Stinkapee reusable pad. I think it's going to be important for Fatty Boy to understand me washing out Stinkapee's cloth pad, putting it on the cloths line and continuing on with the day like anything else.

[You damn well know, that if periods happened to us men, it would be a federal holiday. Bleeding out of out genitals? N*gga Please! There is no chance our world about be organized the way it is. ]

So, first order of the day tomorrow, when I wake up, is going to be to congratulate Ms. Stinkapee on her new cloth menstrual pad. Very cool.
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Found some interesting info on line after doing a search. Useful to me. Might be useful to some other men wanting to challenge themselves:

CLOTH MENSTRUAL PAD INFORMATION:

Commercially available - The majority of commercially available pads are manufactured by work at home moms or small businesses and can be purchased through some health food stores select specialty stores and via the Internet. They are available in a range of lengths and thicknesses, similar to disposable pads, with longer pads for night use and thinner and shorter pads for light use. Some manufacturers will allow the buyer to select the fabrics, shape and size of the pad so that they can be custom made to fit an individual woman and be as efficient as possible.

Handmade - Some women make their own cloth menstrual pads. These pads range from folded wash cloths to pads similar to the cloth menstrual pads available commercially. Some women design their own styles while other women use patterns found on websites.

Washing and care - Cloth menstrual pads may be hand, or machine washed, and then dried on a clothes line or in a clothes dryer depending on the instructions from the manufacturer (different fabrics require different care methods). Some women choose to rinse out their pads in cold water before putting them in the wash with their other clothing, others do not rinse, but put the soiled pads straight into the wash.

Stains sometimes occur, however this is limited if the pads are rinsed out or soaked in cold water immediately after use. Some women prefer darker coloured fabrics which do not show stains as much as light fabrics do. Causes of staining include: allowing the blood to dry on the pad, and using hot water when washing the pad. Drying cloth pads in sunlight can help to fade stains.

When changing cloth menstrual pads away from home, some women place the soiled pads into a waterproof or ziploc bag to keep them from drying out and to contain or prevent odor, and then wash the pads when convenient.

---From Wikipedia. Seems like some good info, but I'm still trying to move away from understanding or associating the female body with "bad" smells. Just a thought.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT i give you the AMERO (goodbye the Mexican Peso, the Greenback, and the Canadian Dollar THIS IS REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD...

First, thanks to Coffee House Studio for having this link.

I'm in shock. But I guess I shouldn't be. I was surfing my way through the web, and found this out. I didn't believe it at first, really I didn't. It is really informative. I thought it made some solid points, but I didn't agree with one point, which suggested that:

"In reality, the value of the US and Canadian dollars will be significantly reduced to counter the worthless peso being absorbed. People in the US and Canada will suffer great financial loss while Mexicans will see significant gain."

I don't agree with this. With the EURO, the folks in the weathier EU nations got richer, and the folks in the poorer EU nations, got well... poorer. Just ask my Greek neighbours. Since their old currency went "bye-bye" , the standard of living for the average Greek person has tanked.


Make sure to watch the CNBC footage in the article..

Now, as I write this, I'm thinking: EUROs, Dollars, Pesos - whatever - we are all still living on First Nations land, so what the fuck anyway. "We are being taken over?" Is this really a news item? Well, yes it is. The question is where do First Nations people figure in this?

The signs of Canada, the shell of a country that it is - being taken over silently have always been there. Every major corporation in Canada is owned either by an American, or a non-Canadian. And whatever is not, will be in the 5 years. The Universal Health Care system has been under attack for years, and corp. rule seems to be the order of the day.

I went walking my son a few hours ago, our neighbourhood is busy with restaurants, cafes, lounges, etc. I had just found the AMERO link, and was feeling dizzy. Literally. I was like: the north american populace has their head in the sand. WATCH THE CNBC LINK. SO smug about being 1st world - we don't even know the shit storm that is about to happen when ALL of the "things" we "own" are devalued.

Damn right they are building prisons/ detention centres. Lots of them. They'll need places to put all of the shocked folk who loose their "stuff" when currency transition occurs.; health care is shot, social programs are gutted, and Cdn have to buy back their own water supply.
ALSO READ:
THE END OF democracy in Canada

A COMPLETE IDIOTjust film your scenes and keep quiet

I just need to make a quick comment about actor Terrence Howard. I'd love to say that what he thinks is an isolated comment, but really - it is the way we men are raised. Fear the vagina, hate the vagina, the vagina is dirty, it needs to be controlled, soaked, scrapped, whatever...

You know what... with men economically dominating this planet, and controlling most of the information/ knowledge/ what is truth - it is no wonder that tons of men and WOMEN actually believe that women are inherently "dirty". You know what... they're not. (and the fact that I'm even writing this is sad.) I have been guilty of believing that women are "not clean" and need to be wiping, patting, perfuming, spraying, their gentials to keep themselves clean - and I am learning how sad we are as a people are - when I see morons like actor Terrence Howard making comments, Terrence: deal with your own, what I am sure is a digusting, stank, ass. And stop thinking on your own. You're an actor. Just stick to reading some else's words. Stop there.

Really though, it's comments like this, that remind me why we men need some serious help. We really do ... another example of the need for men's gathering, discussions, and healing. How about we think about our own bodies, treating them with care, etc.

This is part of why I have this blog.

RELOADing: Joining darkdaughta's fun!

I am honoured to be included in this round of DARKDAUGHTA's "Reloaded" carnival. What a great idea. I'm looking forward to reading everyone's posts and learning losts...Very inspiring.
See you all soon...



Reloaded
Sunday 2, 2007

Red Jenny's "The Good Life and The Economy"

Mommy On The Floor's "The City On The Hill"

Second Waver's "The Male Gaze, postscript"

Universal Plume's "It's Blog For Loving Yourself Day"

Seminalson's "I'm A Fragile Being: Touch In My Men's Group"

Risa's "You Want Cream In That?"

All About My Vagina's "Please call it 'Sex Safety'"

To which Darkdaughta adds: "Race, Class and Everyday Shite", "Western Civilization...A History of Emotional Dysfunction", "My Daughter Wants A Barbie", "Mission Not Accomplished...Sort of" and "Does He Wipe His Track Makin' Ass With Moist Towelettes?"

Reloaded will be happening every Sunday. So, if you or anyone you know has an old post they really liked the first time around, something thick or difficult that they'd like to have circulate through the blogosphere again, just get in contact with darkdaughta. Thx

NEW STUFF NEW POSTtime to start again on my blog, Fall is around the corner and time to get crackin!

One of the things that I struggle with in moving through the personal work I'm doing, is remaining present, and connecting with what I'm doing in the day to day - the choices I'm making and doing something different. I, often position DD as myl motivator - but take note: I mean I position her like this - which also means that I rebel - and more importantly - this is way to energy and emotionally draining. So, TODAY, I'd like to announce to myself a little schedule. Where did this come from? Well, yesterday, DD wanted me to bathe our son on the veranda. I, of course, said, no. You see, I really didn't feel like doing it. I wanted to just bathe him in the bathroom, he could splash around, I could relax, chill out, not worry about to much. It was then when DD said what she has been saying for a long time, which is: I want my children to have various experiences, experiences which aren't defined by the amount of money we have, the amount of credit, but rather a quality of attention and care than is so important.

And I, stubborn and slow (yes I can say that- I am still working threw "feeling controlled" - sad as it is - writing this helps.. At the root of it I was abused by my brother... read some older posts for context)

We got into a discussion about it, her trying to convince me, (now this sounds fucked up as I write it) and after a while, the sun went down, and it became too cold to have the bath outside.
Night fell, and after watching one of my favorite shows, Dexter, I went to sleep (with Shomalian, my son)

Now, it's morning and DD was a great idea to go grab some Ethiopian breakfast with the whole family. Sounds like a good idea, but now we're in discussion about how I'm sabotaging the laundry. I'm off to meet my madd - father in law - .. that's another discussion.