Monday, January 12, 2009

Back from my counseling session...

I feel very raw today. I have never been rocked to my core.. of allowed myself to be rocked like I was last night during in treatment. The whole series (beyond the hype) is amazing. I feel amazing having this show and the character of Alex to connect with -- not in a lovely dovey way - just a simple connection.

And then they dropped a stone on my head. They killed him. I told my counselor that is simply not possible for an African american to exist past the specific stereotypes which have been allowed to flourish.

Questioning? Feeling? Asking? Demanding? NO NO NO
Lots of tears today in my counselors office.
Godd tears.
Healthly tears. Tears in the presence of anoth0er man. I felt ok. I felt safe.. not my usual experience with men. ANOTHER NONONO

Can we have more?
can't we have more than tracy Moore , Martin Laurence, and Eddie Murphy?

I am a complex being, hungry, thirdsty, for a new kind of brotha, a new kind of man.. no not the Obama "proper Blackman" kind of man.. but a sentient being who lives fully, thinks fully, loves fully.. happily, proudly.

Lots more to come

No comments: