Monday, February 06, 2006

I'LL JUST LET STINKAPEE DEAL WITH IT: my plan for dealing with the new baby being a boy child [instead of dealing with my inner one]

I SIT at the computer, just minutes b4 I leave for work. I feel aweful. On one hand I'm blogging, and seemingly working things thru in my head. But, all of this time has come at great expense to my relationship/ partnership withdarkdaughta. Yesterday, we were having a conversation about the baby, which, after darkdaughta's questioning revealed my insecurities about being a male caregiver, protector, papi2. More signinficant though, yesterday for the millionth time revealed my continued feeling of contempt at being questioned by darkdaughta; even while claiming her questioning is crucial for m growth and I love her for it. As I write this, I feel like I am describing a crazy person. It has been like this for years. Things aren't going well.. and so now...

Much more to come

1 comment:

cul said...

"...after Teej's questioning revealed my insecurities about being a male caregiver, protector, papi2."

What is there to be insecure about? Do those things make you feel less male? Or uneasy about being able to live up to the demands? I don't undertand.

"...my continued feeling of contempt at being questioned by Teej; even while claiming her questioning is crucial for m growth and I love her for it."

Completely understandable and normal, man, trust me. Sometimes the work is soooo...like work, ya know?

Peace.