Tuesday, January 01, 2008


It was a strange feeling, going over to my cousin's house and then my aunt. They actually seemed plesant, and dare I say it.. nice. Maybe it was because I had not been there - or really communicated with any of them for over a year.. in fact .. probably over 2 or 3 or even 4 years. I never really felt the need.
I grew up seeing them, spending time with them... specifically my aunts.. women dominate my family.. (there just weren't many boys...)
Visiting them this last time, I felt like they were taking me seriously... I figured: showing up with two (extremely beautiful, well behaved, bright and happy) children might do that.
So,what does it mean to actually care what they think? It means that a piece of me is still stuck in my childhood state.. my little boy is saying... seeeee! I am grown up..... nah nah nah nah....
I also found myself enjoying talking to them - we didn't talk about anything in particular...
although I got to see them pass jabs to one another. And one of them, is as evil as ever - even while obviously being really, really sad and lonely. I see pieces of me in all of them.

I had some body memories, while talking to them - about my trips to Barbados, and the different good times I had. Some of the stories they told about me, and my particular ways - reminded me of Stinkapee.

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