Friday, January 18, 2008

CRYING MEN: OH GOD! He's crying.. he's crying... oh god he's angry - hope he doesn't rob me...

I was over at "Race has nothing to do with you" and saw a piece on masculinity over there. Thanks Chris for posting it and linking me. I'm afraid we only have ourselves to blame in terms of the state of the "men's community" in the world right now." Oh wait - is there a "Men's Community.." - how does that sound?! .. wouldn't want to be seen as gay!?

Jesus Christ.

When are we going to get out of the immaturity and move into living. I'm talking to myself here to guys. I've struggled and enjoyed touch in the men's group - and I'll tell you: the mind blowing experiences were amazingly moving. And I wasn't raised around people who went to "men's groups".

But it is needed. We need so much healing. My little contribution is this little blog.
Below is a quote from a student (he is 17) Chris B. teaches. Speaking about emotion, the student says to Chris:

"No one has ever heard me. I want so bad to grab someone and cry in their face so they can't ignore my tears. But the tears dont come, and if I grab most people, they think I'm going to rob them. Even if they are my friends, that thought still comes to their mind. I see it in their eyes - they fear me when I let go of emotion. And they dont know when I need instead of when I am tr.uly angry."

Click above to read the entire piece - it's 4 paragraphs, then come back.

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Two days have passed sense I've been able to come back to this post. I'm racing to write because today has been such a full one. Lots of good things though.

I was standing in the kitchen, having some coconut bakes DD made - really good - and we were talking - and I got to thinking. Men will always be in this place of pain and confusion as long as we hide behind homosexuality as a reason to not look at our emotions and feelings. This is an institutional practice. We are hanging ourselves. I am sorry for that late-teenager, for the man who is in his early 70s, for the little boy in me, for countless men around the globe who are basically walking around, emotionally transient because they will be perceived as gay.

I think this should be broken down (for me too) cause it is really basic, I'm sure - but things always seem even clearer when you write them. I'll be back. I just have to jump in the showerb4 the baby wakes up!

1 comment:

thefreeslave said...

S2: From all of this conversation, I know that the revolution is coming. Rather than the ballot or the bullet, it wil be be "tears or fears" that rule. A healthy, well timed crying jag can change the world.

There have been numerous times where I have suppressed my tears in order to maintain my look good, though, I know that I conveyed the hurt that I was feeling very clearly.

Crying for a man is a safety issue; its a 'saving face' issue, a 'what will they think of me?' issue, 'how will they use it against me' issue.

We've gotta keep talking about this and creating space to talk, feel, express and dare I say, cry.